Five tips for developing confidence

On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being “not at all” and 10 being “definitely me”, how would you rate your sense of self-identity and confidence?  Who or what influences and determines your self-identity?  Is it your job, financial situation, belongings or your successes and failures?  Do you look to others to determine “who” you are?  Or, do you allow and invite Scripture, and more specifically God to define you?

How do you engage with the world?  Are you burdened by your struggles and screw-ups?  Do you see yourself solely as a fallen, sinful individual?  Or do you walk in the truth that you are made in the image of God?  Do you embrace the scriptural truth that you are a new creation, with the old having passed away?

I am a very confident person.  I understand who God made me to be.  I walk in the truths and knowledge of who God says I am.  Just today, for example, I was quite bold, sending an unsolicited email to a high level executive in the publishing business with a request.  I began the email with a simple statement: “Good morning.  You don’t yet know me, but my goal is within the next five years you will.  My name is…”  You see, nothing ever great has been accomplished without boldness and confidence.  That confidence isn’t self-generated by pumping ourselves up with pride and misperceptions.  It is found only through seeing ourselves in the way Christ does.

If you struggle with confidence or understanding yourself in light of how God sees you, here are a five specific actions that you can take that have been exceedingly meaningful in my own life.  I pray they encourage you, as you move closer to a “10” on the confidence and self-identity scale:

    • Saturate yourself and your mind with Scripture. Pay close attention to who God says you are.  Memorize one or two key verses that address your areas of greatest struggle.  Pray the scriptures, asking God to help you understand and embrace His truths.


    • Get to know yourself. You were handmade by the Creator of the Universe.  He knit you together with specific skills, gifts, abilities, passions, and interests.  Denying those in your life is denying the person He created you to be!  Understanding yourself and how you “tick” is the greatest first step to living out the purposes and plans He has for your life.  Your unique self, combined with God’s timeless truths, is your self-identity.  No longer does it matter what others think – it only matters what your Creator knows!


    • Get to know God. By really knowing God for yourself, as He has revealed Himself in the Bible, you can lean on and trust His character.  What He says about you and about Himself in His word can be trusted.  And that provides unparalleled confidence no matter what you’re facing!


    • Be ready for challenging times. Whenever I approach something that is overwhelming or intimidating, I tell myself, “Head held high – you are a daughter of the King, fearfully and wonderfully made with a God-ordained purpose in this life!”  I then turn that statement into a prayer I quietly offer to the Lord: “Help me Lord to go forth in that truth.  Be with me in this situation as I live out Your purposes in my life.  Help me find confidence in You, and You alone.  Remind me of my identity in You, and You alone.”  What statement can you be ready with?  What prayer can you utter under your breath as you approach challenging situations?  Prepare and be ready with them now, so that when you’re in the midst of waning confidence, you will already know how to best respond.


    • And finally, “fake it till you feel it!” If confidence is what you seek, then “fake” confidence until it becomes reality in your own life.  Live and act in such a way that you declare to yourself and the world that you believe God’s truths, even though they haven’t yet permeated your subconscious.   Engage with your life as the redeemed daughter or son of the King.  Hold your head high, knowing you are created in the image of God.  Go forth boldly, walking in His truths.  And before you know it, you’ll suddenly realize you’re no longer faking it – it has become the new reality of who you are!