“No you’re not! NO YOU’RE NOT!! KIA – NO YOU’RE NOT!!!”
By the time Josiah’s final “no you’re not” reached epic volume levels, I knew it was time to check on my two five year old boys who had been tucked into bed for the night. I found each of them on their beds. Kia, with a sly smirk on his face, kept mumbling into his pillow – not loud enough for me to understand, but clearly loud enough for his brother to comprehend. Josiah, with an angry grimace and bright red cheeks visually displaying his anger, sat upright in bed with his fists clenched. A small tear rolled down his cheek as he muttered with exasperation one final time, “No you’re not!”
“Not what?” I asked, confused about what could possibly elicit such anguished declarations. Both boys sheepishly mumbled something. Unable to understand what they said, I asked again. “Kia isn’t what?”
Several more mumbles followed and then finally Josiah told me. “Kia says it’s his turn to be the ‘Master of the Door’ tonight and that it was my turn last night. But HE’S NOT! I’M in charge of the door tonight – not HIM!”
Trying to suppress my giggles, I asked for a little clarification, unsure exactly what the ‘Master of the Door’ job entailed. As it turns out, the job title sounds much more impressive than it really is – because after all, the little boys aren’t supposed to get out of bed after they’re tucked in. So while they may be the ‘Master of the Door’, they can’t actually open or close the door because doing so would require disobedience. All reality aside, the job title was apparently quite important and the two boys had worked out a rotating schedule that typically worked until tonight.
As luck would have it, I was able to convince both boys that tonight was actually my night to be the ‘Master of the Door’ and the conflict was resolved. As I chuckled about the incident on the way back upstairs, I began reflecting on how we often argue, fight and clamor to be the ‘Master of the Door’ in our own lives.
We will often do or say anything to be in charge and in control of things in our lives. Perhaps it’s a certain job title, promotion, or recognition that we wildly seek. Or it could be our tight-fisted approach to a certain aspect of our lives like relationships, love, finances or security. We may claim to be fully surrendered and committed to Christ, but still struggle to fully trust and obey in certain areas.
This week I have struggled with trying to be the ‘Master of the Door’ myself. Our family has been in somewhat of a holding pattern over the past few weeks, waiting for direction about certain aspects of our future. What’s crazy is that while I pride myself on being ready to fully obey in whatever way we’re led, I’ve been wanting to control the timing of that leading. I’ve often found myself “praying” to God saying, “I’m ready to say ‘yes’ Lord to wherever You lead, just tell me NOW what that is!”
Yes, just call me the ‘Master of the Door’.
But just like our little boys who truly have no control over their bedroom door regardless of their job title, being ‘Master of the Door’ in our own lives is nothing more than an empty title. No matter how many times I obsessively check my email inbox, waiting to hear news about our future, in reality we will hear at just the right time. That could be early tomorrow morning, or it could be several weeks from now. It is truly the Lord who directs our steps. And I’m lying to myself when I claim to be ready to obey His calling when I can’t even surrender control over the timing of that calling.
You see, none of us can be fully surrendered to Christ as long as we maintain the job title of ‘Master of the Door’. We just can’t. We need to fully surrender every aspect of our lives – those aspects that are easy and those that are hard. He invites us to call Him Master. And it is His ways, His timing and His plans that are the best for our lives anyways.
It’s not an easy thing to let go of all that we grasp and cling to. But now every time I obsessively check my email inbox, desperate to hear something…anything, I will try to remember how silly and inconsequential I am proclaiming, “I am the ‘Master of the Door’!”
What about you? Are you the ‘Master of the Door’ in some areas of your life? How can you step away from that empty job title and call Him Master?
